Koko kertomus
To explain why he returned, Jean-Denis begins with a memory. At an earlier retreat, he had arrived closed off from others, angry and unwilling to talk. He describes that closedness as a way of protecting himself. Then he had found himself hugging people and telling them he loved them. That change belongs to the earlier stay he is recalling today.
This time, he has come to continue. He had opened something within himself and did not want to close it again. He speaks of doors he can still explore. He values the possibility of meeting others differently. Within the group, he describes hugging someone without barriers or preconceptions, simply wanting to love. It is an openness he wishes to keep alive.
Yet the new retreat does not bring only gentleness. Jean-Denis says he has learned more, particularly about the ego. Deeply buried wounds have resurfaced. He describes wanting to remain with his experience instead of having explanations immediately take over. He is looking for a way to continue exploring what he has opened, with the difficulties that still arise.
And he speaks about his fear. Ayahuasca frightens him, he says. His experiences can be demanding, and he does not always dare to go further. He is not describing a fear that has disappeared. His desire to continue exists alongside it. In the circle, he thanks the group and speaks of the possibility of continuing, without that intention becoming a promise about what he will experience next.
This is what we take from his words: this retreat is not the very first moment in which Jean-Denis opens up. It is part of the care he wants to give that openness. He does not want to become the person he describes from before. He wants to keep meeting people, understanding and exploring. The doors he speaks about remain precious, even when what they open onto is difficult.
What Jean-Denis describes is his experience alone. Every person's journey is different. Thank you for listening. This was Ayahuasca Stories.
