Hele fortællingen
Richard returns to an experience he already knows, but this time within a group. He likes people while describing himself as a little wild. Being surrounded by people he does not know is not his most familiar situation. He comes wanting to reconnect, with questions about what draws him to these experiences.
The first ceremony feels wonderful to him. In the first sharing circle, Richard describes joy, connection and sensations in his body. The second ceremony is much gentler. The effects take time to arrive and, for a while, he feels disappointed: he wonders whether this will really be his evening. The contrast between these two nights gives him another way of looking at his experience.
On this ayahuasca retreat, after the second ceremony, Richard discovers that a gentle evening can also offer him something. At first, he thinks it is not his night. Then he accepts that he does not have to force it. With his eyes open, he watches the group and notices the team's attention and presence beside each person. He laughs with others. The intensity he expected gives way to a moment he finds deeply kind.
Looking towards other people is not new to him. Richard explains that caring for them feels easier than caring for himself. During this gentle evening, that difference takes on a new meaning. He is no longer looking only at what he might give.
On this ayahuasca retreat, after the second ceremony, Richard recognises the importance of caring for himself. He says that caring for other people is easy; doing it for himself has often been harder. During a gentle evening, he gives his body attention by following what he feels. He recognises how much that attention matters for him too. And he says he is gradually finding his way towards it.
After the third ceremony, Richard speaks about a more personal direction and questions that remain open. In this final sharing circle, he says he can feel the beginnings of a direction in his life. He does not claim to have every answer. His gratitude, however, is very present: the kindness, love and generosity of the group have done him good.
Richard says he enjoyed the whole stay, including that quieter day between two intense experiences. He would like to return, although he does not yet know when. He leaves with moments that delighted him and with a quieter discovery: caring for himself also deserves room.
