Hele fortællingen
Tom discovers ayahuasca during this retreat. At the first sharing circle, he describes feeling very few effects after his first purge. Yet what follows leaves him with warmth and connection that continue when he goes back to bed. He speaks of a beautiful experience, explaining that he did not know what to expect.
For the second ceremony, he sets an intention of peace and wants to surrender to the plant. During that night, he describes feeling as though he is discovering a different world, one that is difficult to put into words. He does not know exactly how to name what he is being shown.
One image stands out in his account: as he breathes out, he feels that he is letting go of parts of his life, like leaves on a tree. Those parts then seem to return as blossoms. That is the comparison he chooses to describe this experience of letting go.
The third night also has difficult moments. He describes a prolonged movement between surrendering to the experience and pain that brings him back. In his final sharing, he expresses disappointment at not seeing that journey through to its end, while also giving thanks.
At an ayahuasca retreat, Tom wants to feel more present. He describes feeling disconnected in his life. At the final sharing circle, he says the retreat has fulfilled that intention: he feels more present in the moment.
That presence is the outcome he describes himself on the final morning. His account holds the differences between the three nights, the pleasant sensations and the difficulties, alongside the feeling of being more in the moment that he came seeking.
