The complete story
Before arriving, Jean-François feels nervous. Being in a group often takes effort, although he has practised collective activities before. He feels comfortable alone and asks a question he has known for a long time: is solitude a comfort, or a way of keeping other people at a distance?
On this ayahuasca retreat, before the first ceremony, something eases for Jean-François as he arrives. He returns to the place and greets the team and the people in the group. A large knot, he says, has already gone. Having felt apprehensive about being with others, he now feels a little at home. Well-being also begins with that welcome and the possibility of being there together.
The first evening leaves him with an experience he describes as light and intense at the same time. He meditates, connects to the music, and moves through visions and sensations. In his account, he can recognise that he feels good alone, but also good with the group, here and now.
The second ceremony is more demanding. He feels heaviness, strong nausea and a brief moment of panic. He checks that the team is there and feels safe, without that immediately taking the fear away. He compares what he is going through to a washing machine, then describes relief.
Afterwards, a question occupies him: why does he hold so tightly to his mind, and what might that prevent him from seeing? He thinks of the allegory of the cave and the chains people may prefer to keep. Then that reflection itself settles, and another phase begins.
On this ayahuasca retreat, after the second ceremony, Jean-François rediscovers the pleasure of being with the group after an intense phase. He says he has done his inner work and can then simply feel other people's presence. He is no longer occupied only with himself. This moment feels very pleasant.
After the third ceremony, Jean-François thanks the others for the lightness he felt. In this final sharing circle, he speaks about the communion he experienced during that last evening and the support that helped him through his experiences. The group, which initially required an effort, has become a place where he can feel comfortable.
For Jean-François, the stay offers an experienced response to his initial question. Feeling good alone and feeling good with others have both found room in the same story.
