The complete story
At an ayahuasca retreat, Manuela almost immediately feels like vomiting. She describes trying to keep the drink down for a little while. At the next sharing circle, her throat still hurts and she describes difficulty drinking.
For Manuela, this is a first experience. During the first night of the retreat, physical sensations take up a great deal of space. She describes pain in her belly and stomach, along with a state in which she does not quite feel in control of her body.
She does not want a second dose because she feels that her body could not tolerate it. At the first sharing circle, she still feels shaky and tired. She describes that decision as a way of listening to what she was feeling.
On the second night, she finds the drink very thick and hard to swallow. Her throat burns, including when she purges. Then a succession of images begins. She speaks of pictures, scenes and parallel worlds, as well as visions connected with her family.
The journey continues and eventually exhausts her. She had come with the intention of developing her senses. During this experience, sounds seem greatly amplified. She also feels in communion with the group, sensing its breathing. She describes the experience as a whole as very heavy and tiring.
After the ceremony ends, she continues to vomit and the images do not stop immediately. She eventually falls asleep. At the next morning’s sharing circle, she feels good, but emphasises how deeply tired she is. She thanks the people around her and also says that it was beautiful. Her sharing holds both aspects of the same night.
